Autumn's End

As we approach the end of another season, I have found it hard to write or verbalize my thoughts because I am in such a deep inward reflection regarding the past few months. Words simply haven't been coming to me easily, and I find that my mind is in some sort of hibernation. Actually, I find this frame of mind to be a good thing for the most part. I have been very content and happy in this mode, especially this past week. I have been making many observations, and I have been taking in the flow of energy around me. Every morning I wake up and expect my brain to be done processing all that it is grinding on and spit out a revelation about what I should be doing, where I should be doing it, and who I should be sharing these experiences with. So far though, nothing.

On a different subject, I have found an odd repetitive occurrence in the past few weeks. I have been approached by an unusually high number of strangers that keep asking me for money, and it has been happening in the oddest of places at times. One time I was just sitting in my car typing out a text message on my phone and a guy knocked on my window and asked if I had any money I could spare for gas. No, I wasn't even at a gas station... I am starting to think that even though I am on a very strict budget with no source of income, I should start helping the people that ask (even if I don't know them.) It just seems like maybe a sign when unusual events keep repeating themselves in such a short period of time.

As a matter of principle, I do try to help people as much as I can and even though I am in no position to be throwing money around, I can't afford to be stingy either. I believe that what you put out in the world will come back around, so if I am stingy with money, then I will have very little come back to me in return. However, if I am generous, then that generosity will be returned by others snd I will remain in a healthy state of being. This seems to be working well for me so far, and if I don't feel like I can offer up money at the time then I will try to offer up time, labor, or resources instead.

The nagging question that keeps coming to mind, however, is that eventually the money will run out without a source of income. Easy answer: I need to find a job even if that means a temporary part-time job (or a few). In turn, this also means that I need to settle into a place for longer than two weeks at a time. Of course this is all part of the slumbering process that my mind has endeavored into. It is also part of the delicate balance of enjoying my travels and while keeping money on hand. All in the evolving plan of what to do after the holidays. Answers are coming...